May 26, 2014

Posted by Shanell Calloway in Shopping | Comments Off on Dating Guidelines: Being Yourself versus Selling Yourself

Dating Guidelines: Being Yourself versus Selling Yourself

There are a number of dating guides that outline strict rules regarding how you need to act when looking for or interacting with Singles in the Burlington area. These rules dictate who is responsible for selecting a restaurant, who should pay the check and the proper period of time to request a date. You will also find that these guides advise you to be open, but mysterious, and for women to wear makeup without having to try too hard. Most importantly you are instructed to stay positive during the date.

However, these narrow and the often contradictory guidelines end up causing self-doubt, which can also create a dating time bomb. If you listen to these traditional guidelines, you will come to the conclusion that dating requires a bit of salesmanship – choosing a great profile pic, carefully selecting your favorites when it comes to movies and books and emphasizing the parts of your life that are going well.

While there is no question that showing up to a first date in a pair of unwashed jeans and stained t-shirt is a bad idea, how far should you take all these guidelines and rules?

When you really think about it, what represents the real you? Are you portraying this when you create profiles or even meet a person for the first time? Chances are that the answer to this question would be no. Due to the self-doubt many singles have, they do not allow their real selves to be portrayed.

In many cases, singles work too hard to “sell” themselves, making dating more of a business transaction than an opportunity to really get to know another person. Thoughts such as “if he doesn’t pay for my drink I’m out of here,” and others have developed due to this misguided ideal of what dating should be.

In most cases the person you portray, will be dependent on how confident that you feel and how much you like the person you are on a date with. However, the fact of the matter is that selling yourself, or your date, as a commodity simply makes dating a stressful experience, rather than a fun one.

Next time you are planning a date, take time to consider treating the individual with respect and kindness rather than working to impress them. It really is the little things that makes a huge difference in the realm of dating.

If you in the Burlington Singles scene, consider visiting the LunchDates Professional Matchmaking website for more information.

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